You're a
Fallout Junkie If...


  1. You insult your friends by saying... Sure, shoot me in the back Tycho, Ian, etc.
  2. You rate peoples abilities in terms of 4, 5, or 6.
  3. You've finally found and bought that painting of Elvis from the spaceship.
  4. You understood that reference.
  5. You refer to your home as a "Vault"
  6. You only drink bottled water because your water chip is malfunctioning and you're afraid of radiation.
  7. You've renamed your dog, Dogmeat.
  8. You've bought iguana's from the pet shop just so you can eat, Iguana on a Stick.
  9. You dump your girlfriend for someone named Katja.
  10. You refer to multi vitamins as Rad-Away.
  11. You injure yourself and immediately look for StimPacks.
  12. You demand people refer to you as your character's name.
  13. You drive though Southern California looking for The Secret Mutant Base...
  14. You're convinced you've found the Mutant Base... Hollywood.
  15. You live in Southern California and tell people you live "just south of The Boneyard..."
  16. You refer to your grandfather as "The Overseer".
  17. You walk in zig-zag patterns..
  18. You understood that...
  19. You request time off from work because, "My friend Ian died!"
  20. You've send hate e-mail to Steve Jackson.
  21. You have a leather jacket with one arm cut off.
  22. You list Vault 13 as your address on employment applications.
  23. You get really bummed when restaurants don't carry Nuko-Cola
  24. You have more than 20 screenshots of your character in action.
  25. You refer to your computer as, "my Pip Boy 2000".
  26. You refer to the zip cartridges as "Holo-Disks".
  27. You have a picture of Tandi at work.
  28. You think of your talents/skills in terms of percentages.
  29. You've attempted to pay for something in bottle caps.
  30. You replay the game again because you've neglected some obscure S.P.E.C.I.A.L. / Perk / Tag Skill combination.
  31. You expect books to disappear after you read them.
  32. You've afraid to visit your doctor, because he might sell your body parts...
  33. You know why...
  34. You have your wife reenact your favorite fantasy, "O.K. Honey, your name is Tandi and I'm going to save you from evil Raiders... now put on the handcuffs."
  35. You've still reading this list.
  36. You have time to create a Web Page devoted to Fallout.
  37. You get the flu and swear it's Radiation Poisoning.
  38. You explore caves looking for Rad Scorpions.
  39. You visit peoples homes and have this overwhelming urge to loot everything.
  40. You feel guilty going to work because, "My vault is running out of drinking water."
  41. You search the Yellow Pages for Bob's Used Cars.
  42. You call Bob and ask to buy his Red Rider BB Gun.
  43. You actually understood what that what all about.
  44. You refer to your physician as "Dr. Morbid"
  45. You've been banned from church for yelling out, "Bless the Holy Flame!"
  46. You've thrown away mousetraps and bought a spear instead.
  47. You have fantasies about Katja.
  48. You have fantasies about Katja and Tandi together... >= D
  49. You're friends send you on a food run and you wonder how much time you have to complete "The QUEST".
  50. You throw a birthday party and put, "Happy Level 15!!!" instead of their age.
  51. You go to a boxing match and are disappointed not to see someone fight a RadScopion.
  52. You give your wife 40 bottlecaps for sex
  53. You've given serious consideration to remodeling your house based on maps from Vault 13.
  54. You've listed Tycho, Ian and Katja as character references on a job application.
  55. You list "Hero of the Wastelands" as your current occupation.
  56. Your therapist has classified you as "paranoid", due to your belief of a approaching Mutant army.
  57. Dave Hendee sends you e-mail saying: "Stop calling and stalking me!  Fallout 2 will be out later this year!  Leave me alone!"
  58. You have no fear of taking on 5 (real world) gang members at once.  After all, you've fought Deathclaws and Super Mutants.
  59. You've cooked the recipes found in the Fallout manual.
  60. You've written a 2000 page screenplay called, "Fallout: The Movie".
  61. You've signed, "Max Stone" on a check.
  62. You feel skeptical towards any professional training system which doesn't involve killing rats or mutants.
  63. You leave some important shopping for future "'til my barter skill goes higher".
  64. You carry drugs with you 'cos "they're so lightweight and handy for bartering".
  65. You can't find China on the map yet you know the exact longitude and latitude of all Fallout locations.
  66. You try to shoot people in the eyes with toy laser guns.
  67. You think you can blow half of someone away with a BB gun.
  68. You've found yourself saying, "Now what would Tycho do in this situation?"
  69. You think praying mantises roam in packs.
  70. You think praying mantises will try to kill you.
  71. You call Coca-Cola "NukaCola."
  72. You are afraid of raccoons.
  73. You understood that...
  74. You think you have to wear a purple robe to go inside any type of temple.
  75. You've sent $13.00 plus $3.00 for shipping and handling for an Unwashed Villager's T-Shirt.
  76. You can covert real world prices to their Fallout bottlecap equivalent within seconds.
  77. You have a picture of a companion in your wallet, but not one of your wife, kids, etc.
  78. You draw on the roadmaps in your car the exact locations of the Hub, Junktown, etc.
  79. You dedicate your life to cultivating a fruit that looks like the one in Fallout.
  80. You can recite all the words to the Maybe song.
  81. When a companion dies, you scream "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" and fall on your keyboard, only to wake up days later from your stupor.
  82. You paint a big "13" in bright yellow on all your clothes.
  83. You kill a used car salesman and pick the lock on his door for a BB Gun
  84. You have a small candle burning shrine to Tandi in your closet.
  85. You mess up in a sport and blame it on "having the Jinxed trait".
  86. You send your dog out to attack people you don't like.
  87. You've been taken in on animal-cruelty charges for trying to genetically engineer a two-headed Brahmin bull.
  88. You think moles, bears, and pigs are all members of "the rat family".
  89. You've dissected a Brita Water Purifier in search of a compatible Water Chip.
  90. You can create a character in under 15 seconds.
  91. You asked your real-life friend Ian to borrow "that cool jacket with one arm".
  92. He knows exactly what you're talking about and lets you borrow it.
  93. You searched all the lockers in the doctor's office on your last checkup. (You were thrilled that annoying midget finally left)
  94. You take a rope whenever you go in an elevator.
  95. You constantly see people with percentages above their heads.
  96. You find yourself saying, "Well!  That's a damn fine coincidence" in casual conversation.
  97. You always wear a leather jacket and carry a shotgun when you are trying to get a dog.
  98. You're a doctor and you can only heal 3 patients a day.
  99. You feed dogs pieces of human flesh instead of dog biscuits.
  100. You go to church and try to find someone to heal you.
  101. You are afraid of churches.
  102. You divide your water into rations.
  103. You've searched the desert looking for a tipped over Nuka Cola truck.
  104. You only buy Tyco toys and wonder if they ever noticed that they spelled it wrong.
  105. You spend your family vacation at Roswell searching for the alien blaster.
  106. You've been caught sneaking around a school trying to find a Systolic Motivator in kids' lockers 
  107. You called your karate instructor "Talius".
  108. You refuse to pay for anything in units besides 999 dollars.
  109. You've been kicked out of church for snooping around the back room.
  110. You've tried to buy groceries with flares and rocks.
  111. You go to church and get kicked out for snooping in the back room.
  112. You go into a gun store and ask if they have a plasma gun.
  113. If you go to this web site every day. = )
  114. You sing the song "Maybe" in the shower.
  115. If you go to a bar and look for a urn.
  116. You stop at all the car sales you see and ask for Bob.
  117. You try feeding "Iguana on a stick" to any stray dogs you come across in the hope they'll follow you.
  118. You go into a pharmacy and ask for some Buffout/Rad-Away/Rad-X.
  119. You can't leave town without first finding the Exit Grid.
  120. You stop people on the street and try to barter with them.
  121. You call your grandpa 'The Master' because he's so ugly.
  122. You go to a clothing store and ask for a 'Hardened Power Armor'.
  123. You think that clothing will weigh nothing once you wear them.
  124. You go to the basement of a church and then ask anyone nearby: "Where the hell are those super-mutants?"
  125. A friend of you visits you and you say: "What the bloody, bloody, bloody hell are you doing here?!
  126. Someone challenges you to a boxing duel and you laugh and say: "Ha! you can't hurt me, I've got 200% unarmed not to mention 78 Hit Points and a natural AC of 10!"
  127. You carve the number 13 on the door to your basement.
  128. You dig a big hole in your backyard for a "Vault" in case of a nuclear war.
  129. You've been arrested several times for breaking into military bases looking for the Vats.
  130. You deliberately scratch your Inkspots' record so that it skips.
  131. You watch the Mad Max trilogy and think, "Geesh, that guy had it easy!"
  132. You think twice about  making any kind of motion because of how many action points it will cause.
  133. You refer to all your friends as NPC's.
  134. You have Fallout sounds or desktop patterns on your computer.
  135. You keep your box from Fallout displayed on top of your TV... Guilty!
  136. You have sent in ideas for this list.
  137. You have tried to reprogram The Matrix to suit your Fallout needs.
  138. You have ever seen the Overseer die because you shot him at the end of the game.
  139. You play the Fallout drinking game.
  140. You understand everything in "U R A Fallout Junkie If".
  141. You go to the desert and search for the super mutants.
  142. You refuse to drink beer because you'll lose a point of Perception.
  143. You call a drug counselor and say you are addicted to:
    a. Psycho
    b. Buffout
    c. Mentats
    d. Nuka Cola
  144. You look for The Master and Father Morpheus in your church.
  145. You are taking this list seriously.
  146. You save bottle caps because they're the currency of the future.
  147. You sneak behind cops to steal their equipment.
  148. You don't 'trade' you 'BARTER'!
  149. You ask for Plasma Guns in your local gun shop.
  150. No matter how many times you've tried.  You simply can't run straight up, down or to the side.
  151. You attack people in a loaning company, 'cause the police will let you get away with it
  152. You go to Bakersfield to look for a waterchip... just in case.
  153. You actually do go to Bakersfield and wonder what happened to the Ghouls and the Super Mutants.
  154. You wonder why your brand new chess computer doesn't contain any files regarding Power Armor or the FEV virus.
  155. You call information services and ask for the address of the Maltese Falcon.
  156. They can't help you, so you ask for the address of the Skum Pitt instead.
  157. You've given serious consideration to starting your own gang called: The Skulz.
  158. You go on a road trip and hope you don't get any hostile encounters.
  159. You expect phone booths to disappear when you approach them.
  160. You are drafted into the army and wonder when you will get your Power Armor and Plasma Rifle.
  161. As a doctor you only refer to your patients state of health as unhurt, wounded, severely wounded, almost dead or dead.
  162. You lost your home keys and try to open your front door by blowing it up with dynamite.
  163. You never buy anyone new clothes, 'cause they won't even bother to wear them
  164. You wonder why your alarm clock doesn't have a 'rest until healed' button.
  165. Instead of calling an exterminator, you shoot bugs with a rifle.
  166. You wonder why the local police force isn't equipped with green combat armor and automatic weapons.
  167. You glue a laptop to the side of your head and call yourself 'The Master'.
  168. You've been kicked out of football games for wears shoulder pads with spikes on them.
  169. You think you can heal broken bones and damaged eyes instantly with a doctor's bag.
  170. You think everyone is right handed... even if you are not.
  171. If "home" on your internet browser takes you to:
  172. You wonder why "Bull" on nightcourt sounds exactly like the BOS guard.
  173. You mimic the Master's speaking patterns.
  174. You have children named Aradesh, Tandi, Aan, Tycho and Harold.
  175. You wonder why time doesn't go by quickly when you walk around outside of a city.
  176. You have pictures of Dave Hendee in your room.
  177. You hit the '1' button and expect to go to the top floor.
  178. You've ever asked a drug dealer to 'Hook you up with some RadAway or Mentats'.
  179. You've ever gone to the local store to ask when the next caravan would come.
  180. You've ever gone to the police and offered to help kill a local Crime Lord.
  181. You think that all of the cars that you see parked must be junk.
  182. You think that fights and gunshot wounds are inconsequential. (After all, you've taken out military bases full of mutants and just slept it off!)
  183. You name the characters in HEARTS: Katja, Tycho, Ian and Dogmeat.
  184. If you call your friend Harold: A ghoul.
  185. If you think all dumb people are related to Harry the Mutant.
  186. You refer to your teacher or boss as the Master.
  187. You ask everyone you meet if they would like to join up with you.
  188. You want to say something, but can't find a match in your speech window.
  189. You move only after everyone else has.
  190. You look for ammo magazines in your library.
  191. You refer to the mall as: "The Hub"
  192. You carry a shotgun in front of the police and expect them to be ok with that.
  193. You kill vermin with pistols.
  194. You fail something and then attempt to load a saved game.
  195. You've repeatedly searched the desert for tipped over trucks and even a crashed alien space ship.
  196. You wonder how someone can roam the desert and not need food or water.

Thanks to all the people that added to this list.  You know who you are... ; D


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