Fallout Junkie If...
- You insult your friends by saying... Sure, shoot me in the back Tycho, Ian, etc.
- You rate peoples abilities in terms of 4, 5, or 6.
- You've finally found and bought that painting of Elvis from the spaceship.
- You understood that reference.
- You refer to your home as a "Vault"
- You only drink bottled water because your water chip is malfunctioning and you're afraid
- You've renamed your dog, Dogmeat.
- You've bought iguana's from the pet shop just so you can eat, Iguana on a Stick.
- You dump your girlfriend for someone named Katja.
- You refer to multi vitamins as Rad-Away.
- You injure yourself and immediately look for StimPacks.
- You demand people refer to you as your character's name.
- You drive though Southern California looking for The Secret Mutant Base...
- You're convinced you've found the Mutant Base... Hollywood.
- You live in Southern California and tell people you live "just south of The
- You refer to your grandfather as "The Overseer".
- You walk in zig-zag patterns..
- You understood that...
- You request time off from work because, "My friend Ian died!"
- You've send hate e-mail to Steve Jackson.
- You have a leather jacket with one arm cut off.
- You list Vault 13 as your address on employment applications.
- You get really bummed when restaurants don't carry Nuko-Cola
- You have more than 20 screenshots of your character in action.
- You refer to your computer as, "my Pip Boy 2000".
- You refer to the zip cartridges as "Holo-Disks".
- You have a picture of Tandi at work.
- You think of your talents/skills in terms of percentages.
- You've attempted to pay for something in bottle caps.
- You replay the game again because you've neglected some obscure S.P.E.C.I.A.L. / Perk /
Tag Skill combination.
- You expect books to disappear after you read them.
- You've afraid to visit your doctor, because he might sell your body parts...
- You know why...
- You have your wife reenact your favorite fantasy, "O.K. Honey, your name is Tandi
and I'm going to save you from evil Raiders... now put on the handcuffs."
- You've still reading this list.
- You have time to create a Web Page devoted to Fallout.
- You get the flu and swear it's Radiation Poisoning.
- You explore caves looking for Rad Scorpions.
- You visit peoples homes and have this overwhelming urge to loot everything.
- You feel guilty going to work because, "My vault is running out of drinking
- You search the Yellow Pages for Bob's Used Cars.
- You call Bob and ask to buy his Red Rider BB Gun.
- You actually understood what that what all about.
- You refer to your physician as "Dr. Morbid"
- You've been banned from church for yelling out, "Bless the Holy Flame!"
- You've thrown away mousetraps and bought a spear instead.
- You have fantasies about Katja.
- You have fantasies about Katja and Tandi together... >= D
- You're friends send you on a food run and you wonder how much time you have to complete
- You throw a birthday party and put, "Happy Level 15!!!" instead of their age.
- You go to a boxing match and are disappointed not to see someone fight a RadScopion.
- You give your wife 40 bottlecaps for sex
- You've given serious consideration to remodeling your house based on maps from Vault 13.
- You've listed Tycho, Ian and Katja as character references on a job application.
- You list "Hero of the Wastelands" as your current occupation.
- Your therapist has classified you as "paranoid", due to your belief of a
approaching Mutant army.
- Dave Hendee sends you e-mail saying: "Stop calling and stalking me! Fallout 2
will be out later this year! Leave me alone!"
- You have no fear of taking on 5 (real world) gang members at once. After all,
you've fought Deathclaws and Super Mutants.
- You've cooked the recipes found in the Fallout manual.
- You've written a 2000 page screenplay called, "Fallout: The Movie".
- You've signed, "Max Stone" on a check.
- You feel skeptical towards any professional training system which doesn't involve
killing rats or mutants.
- You leave some important shopping for future "'til my barter skill goes
- You carry drugs with you 'cos "they're so lightweight and handy for
- You can't find China on the map yet you know the exact longitude and latitude of all
- You try to shoot people in the eyes with toy laser guns.
- You think you can blow half of someone away with a BB gun.
- You've found yourself saying, "Now what would Tycho do in this situation?"
- You think praying mantises roam in packs.
- You think praying mantises will try to kill you.
- You call Coca-Cola "NukaCola."
- You are afraid of raccoons.
- You understood that...
- You think you have to wear a purple robe to go inside any type of temple.
- You've sent $13.00 plus $3.00 for shipping and handling for an Unwashed Villager's T-Shirt.
- You can covert real world prices to their Fallout bottlecap equivalent within seconds.
- You have a picture of a companion in your wallet, but not one of your wife, kids, etc.
- You draw on the roadmaps in your car the exact locations of the Hub, Junktown, etc.
- You dedicate your life to cultivating a fruit that looks like the one in Fallout.
- You can recite all the words to the Maybe song.
- When a companion dies, you scream "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" and fall on your keyboard,
only to wake up days later from your stupor.
- You paint a big "13" in bright yellow on all your clothes.
- You kill a used car salesman and pick the lock on his door for a BB Gun
- You have a small candle burning shrine to Tandi in your closet.
- You mess up in a sport and blame it on "having the Jinxed trait".
- You send your dog out to attack people you don't like.
- You've been taken in on animal-cruelty charges for trying to genetically engineer a
two-headed Brahmin bull.
- You think moles, bears, and pigs are all members of "the rat family".
- You've dissected a Brita Water Purifier in search of a compatible Water Chip.
- You can create a character in under 15 seconds.
- You asked your real-life friend Ian to borrow "that cool jacket with one arm".
- He knows exactly what you're talking about and lets you borrow it.
- You searched all the lockers in the doctor's office on your last checkup. (You were
thrilled that annoying midget finally left)
- You take a rope whenever you go in an elevator.
- You constantly see people with percentages above their heads.
- You find yourself saying, "Well! That's a damn fine coincidence" in
- You always wear a leather jacket and carry a shotgun when you are trying to get a dog.
- You're a doctor and you can only heal 3 patients a day.
- You feed dogs pieces of human flesh instead of dog biscuits.
- You go to church and try to find someone to heal you.
- You are afraid of churches.
- You divide your water into rations.
- You've searched the desert looking for a tipped over Nuka Cola truck.
- You only buy Tyco toys and wonder if they ever noticed that they spelled it wrong.
- You spend your family vacation at Roswell searching for the alien blaster.
- You've been caught sneaking around a school trying to find a Systolic
Motivator in kids' lockers
- You called your karate instructor "Talius".
- You refuse to pay for anything in units besides 999 dollars.
- You've been kicked out of church for snooping around the back room.
- You've tried to buy groceries with flares and rocks.
- You go to church and get kicked out for snooping in the back room.
- You go into a gun store and ask if they have a plasma gun.
- If you go to this web site every day. = )
- You sing the song "Maybe" in the
- If you go to a bar and look for a urn.
- You stop at all the car sales you see and ask for Bob.
- You try feeding "Iguana on a stick" to any stray dogs you come across in the
hope they'll follow you.
- You go into a pharmacy and ask for some Buffout/Rad-Away/Rad-X.
- You can't leave town without first finding the Exit Grid.
- You stop people on the street and try to barter with them.
- You call your grandpa 'The Master' because he's so ugly.
- You go to a clothing store and ask for a 'Hardened Power Armor'.
- You think that clothing will weigh nothing once you wear them.
- You go to the basement of a church and then ask anyone nearby: "Where the hell are
- A friend of you visits you and you say: "What the bloody, bloody, bloody hell are
you doing here?!
- Someone challenges you to a boxing duel and you laugh and say: "Ha! you can't hurt
me, I've got 200% unarmed not to mention 78 Hit Points and a natural AC of 10!"
- You carve the number 13 on the door to your basement.
- You dig a big hole in your backyard for a "Vault" in case of a nuclear war.
- You've been arrested several times for breaking into military bases looking for the
- You deliberately scratch your Inkspots' record so that it skips.
- You watch the Mad Max trilogy and think, "Geesh, that guy had it easy!"
- You think twice about making any kind of motion because of how many action points
it will cause.
- You refer to all your friends as NPC's.
- You have Fallout sounds or desktop patterns on your computer.
- You keep your box from Fallout displayed on top of your TV... Guilty!
- You have sent in ideas for this list.
- You have tried to reprogram The Matrix to suit your Fallout needs.
- You have ever seen the Overseer die because you shot him at the end of the game.
- You play the Fallout drinking game.
- You understand everything in "U R A Fallout Junkie If".
- You go to the desert and search for the super mutants.
- You refuse to drink beer because you'll lose a point of Perception.
- You call a drug counselor and say you are addicted to:
d. Nuka Cola
- You look for The Master and Father Morpheus in your church.
- You are taking this list seriously.
- You save bottle caps because they're the currency of the future.
- You sneak behind cops to steal their equipment.
- You don't 'trade' you 'BARTER'!
- You ask for Plasma Guns in your local gun shop.
- No matter how many times you've tried. You simply can't run straight up, down or
to the side.
- You attack people in a loaning company, 'cause the police will let you get away with it
- You go to Bakersfield to look for a waterchip... just in case.
- You actually do go to Bakersfield and wonder what happened to the Ghouls and the Super
- You wonder why your brand new chess computer doesn't contain any files regarding Power
Armor or the FEV virus.
- You call information services and ask for the address of the Maltese Falcon.
- They can't help you, so you ask for the address of the Skum Pitt instead.
- You've given serious consideration to starting your own gang called: The Skulz.
- You go on a road trip and hope you don't get any hostile encounters.
- You expect phone booths to disappear when you approach them.
- You are drafted into the army and wonder when you will get your Power Armor and Plasma
- As a doctor you only refer to your patients state of health as unhurt, wounded, severely
wounded, almost dead or dead.
- You lost your home keys and try to open your front door by blowing it up with dynamite.
- You never buy anyone new clothes, 'cause they won't even bother to wear them
- You wonder why your alarm clock doesn't have a 'rest until healed' button.
- Instead of calling an exterminator, you shoot bugs with a rifle.
- You wonder why the local police force isn't equipped with green combat armor and
- You glue a laptop to the side of your head and call yourself 'The Master'.
- You've been kicked out of football games for wears shoulder pads with spikes on them.
- You think you can heal broken bones and damaged eyes instantly with a doctor's bag.
- You think everyone is right handed... even if you are not.
- If "home" on your internet browser takes you to: www.interplay.com/fallout
- You wonder why "Bull" on nightcourt sounds exactly like the BOS guard.
- You mimic the Master's speaking patterns.
- You have children named Aradesh, Tandi, Aan, Tycho and Harold.
- You wonder why time doesn't go by quickly when you walk around outside of a city.
- You have pictures of Dave Hendee in your room.
- You hit the '1' button and expect to go to the top floor.
- You've ever asked a drug dealer to 'Hook you up with some RadAway or Mentats'.
- You've ever gone to the local store to ask when the next caravan would come.
- You've ever gone to the police and offered to help kill a local Crime Lord.
- You think that all of the cars that you see parked must be junk.
- You think that fights and gunshot wounds are inconsequential. (After all,
out military bases full of mutants and just slept it off!)
- You name the characters in HEARTS: Katja, Tycho, Ian and Dogmeat.
- If you call your friend Harold: A ghoul.
- If you think all dumb people are related to Harry the Mutant.
- You refer to your teacher or boss as the Master.
- You ask everyone you meet if they would like to join up with you.
- You want to say something, but can't find a match in your speech window.
- You move only after everyone else has.
- You look for ammo magazines in your library.
- You refer to the mall as: "The Hub"
- You carry a shotgun in front of the police and expect them to be ok with
- You kill vermin with pistols.
- You fail something and then attempt to load a saved game.
- You've repeatedly searched the desert for tipped over trucks and even a
crashed alien space ship.
- You wonder how someone can roam the desert and not need food or water.
Thanks to all the people that added to this list. You know who you are... ;
Got any ideas? E-Mail me! firstname.lastname@example.org
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