A Diary of my Adventures outside Vault 13...

December 05, 2161

Well Diary, I got selected to go outside and save our Vault.  I don't remember volunteering.  I just know I'm outside the Vault with a note pinned to my chest saying, "Thanks for volunteering to save us... now go get the water chip!"  That's the last time I'll do Nuko Cola/Tequila shooters.  I tried to get back in, but the tech said, "Sorry, but we can't let you in right now... uh technical problems..." As if!

I searched the bones outside of the Vault and got some supplies.  You would think Mr. Skinflint would give me some better equipment.  Well it's off to Vault 13.  Hopefully, I'll get the water chip and I'll be back for Christmas.  This won't take long.

December 14, 2161

Good news Diary!  Vault 15 is intact!  I saw an old shack and went down to a cavern.  I killed some mole like rats by shooting them in the groin... you know it's funny, but the groin area looks just like the hot dogs we used to eat every... oh eeeuuhhh!

Bad news... I can't explore the vault.  I need some rope.  Maybe the town I passed will have some.

December 17th, 2161

Arrived in a settlement call Shady Sands.  The town guard, Seth instructed me to talk with Aradesh the town leader.  I saw Aradesh sitting in a dark corner.  He starting yaking about Rad Scorpions and Raiders and Brahmin and... finally I just left.  At least I have my rope.

December 19th, 2161

Saw a giant footprint with a nice flat red smear underneath.  I searched the smear and found a Stealthboy.  I'm now invisible!  Cool!  Unfortunately, I dropped it and couldn't find it since it was invisible.  Oh well...

December 20th, 2161

I arrived at Vault 15.  Did some exploring and got some nice stylish leather threads.  Unfortunately, a cave-in occurred some years ago and the Water-Chip is now buried under tons of rock.  Well I'm not going to make it back to the Vault for Christmas.  I guess I'll spend it at Shady Sands.

December 23rd, 2161

I met Ian.  I convinced him to join me.  He told me about a place called JunkTown.  I think I'll visit.

December 30th, 2161

I arrived in Junktown.  I was so tired when I arrived I just walked into someone's house and crashed until morning.

December 31st, 2161

Went into a Hospital, climbed down the ladder and met a little midget who told me, "Doc Morbid is selling Human Body parts".  I didn't need to know that.  I spent the next ten minutes throwing up the Iguana-on-a-Stick I ate.  So that's how they make Iguana Soup...

Found a nice little doggie with blood stained teeth.  I gave it a Human-Flesh-On-A-Stick and it follows me now.

I wanted to see a boxing match, but the guy said it was canceled because a fighter bit off someone's ear.

I went inside Gizmo's casino and met Gizmo.  He offered me money to off Killian the Mayor.  I told Killian about it and he make a bug and tape recorder out of some wires, gum, a data tape and a powercell.*  He wanted me to get some dirt on Gizmo.  I planted a bug on him and got my reward from Killian.

December 31st, 2161

I left JunkTown.  I think I'll go to this HUB place I've heard so much about..

January 3rd, 2162

I arrived in the Hub.  It's an all right place.  I love the Police Officers.  I can steal from them and I never get caught.  I won't need bullets for a while.

January 7th, 2162

I arrived in the BoneYard and met Katja in a library.  She offered to join me.  I had to go back to the Hub because I left my purse behind.

February 1st, 2162

I spoke with Katja about our problem with Ian.   I've been shoot twice in the back by his SMG gun.  Katja is still nursing a wound in the foot.  Perhaps I should send him on a "special quest" to find my invisible Stealth Boy.  I hate him...

February 7th, 2162

I arrived in the Hub and me the famous Bob of Bob's Iguana Bits.  I told him about Doc Morbid and he offered me 50 whole bottle caps to keep quiet. WOW!  50 whole caps!  I took the offer.  I met someone called Kain.  He heard about my "business with Gizmo."  He offered me a job to kill the merchant HighTower.  I went to the Sheriff and told him what happened.  We both proceeded to take out Decker (a local crime boss).

I went to a building and found an underground entrance to a thieves circle. I met a group of thieves and met their leader, Loxley.  He offered me the job of stealing a necklace from Hightower.  If I were this Hightower person, I would just leave.  Everyone just wants to kill or steal from him... like me.  I got the necklace and got initiated into the Circle.  Now, I'm a lifetime member of the Thieves Circle.  Yeah!

I met another midget and he offered me a caravan run.  I'm off to the BoneYard.

February 13th, 2162

I met a tiny little man called Zimmerman.  He reminded me of the old man from an ancient Holoshow called Benny Hill.  He told me about the Blades killing his son.  I offered to kill the leader of a gang called the Blades.  I met the leader of the Blades and found out something.  The Blades didn't kill the boy, the Police force in town did.  I got a data tape with evidence.  I want to help but everybody needs my help.  I think I need some more EXPERIENCE before I can do something.

February 15th, 2162

I arrived in the Hub for supplies.  I picked up some Stimpacks to heal the BB Gun wounds I received from Ian.  I'm off to Shady Sands to take care of the RadScorpion problem.

February 25th, 2162

I had Seth give me directions to the RadScorpion caves.  My stupid companions stayed at the entrance and forced me to fight the RadScorpions myself.  I went back to the settlement and met Farmer John.  I explained crop rotation to him and he was happy.  I took a RadScorpion tail to Razla and he made some antidote for me.  In thanks, I stole a first-aid book from him.

Date Unknown

I arrived in Necropolis.  I found a manhole cover and met some ghouls. I offered to fix the waterpump for them.  I went to the Watershed and was attacked by some SuperMutants (Just like normal mutants only super).  I killed the SuperMutants and freed a ghoul prisoner.  I went back into the manhole and found some junk.  I fixed the waterpump with the junk.  I went to an underground Vault in the sewer and took a waterchip for my Vault.  Yeah... now the Overseer can bathe.

March 30th, 2162

I arrived in the Hub to unload my junk from my pack mules (Ian and Katja).  I must say, I truly am in awe of my companions bravery.  They will carry combat armor and rocket launchers and still wear leather jackets and fight with knives... such stupidity bravery is rare.

I met Irwin.  He told me about some Raiders taking over his farm.  I took out the Raiders and got a nice hunting rifle.  Oh, yeah... now I'm off to Vault 13.  I forgot... People dying... need water... Overseer smells...


I arrived at the Vault and made the OverSeer happy.  I also calmed the rebel faction and stopped the water thief.  I didn't even know I had to do those two things... I don't know how I did it.  I just did it.  I'm so good.


I met the Blade Leader again and she asked me to visit the GunRunners for help, again.  I'm working on it... give me time lady.

April 25th, 2162

I snuck past the DeathClaws and found the GunRunners.  I got some nice "exotic" weaponry from them.  I also stole some nice stuff and sold it back... what a bunch of fools.

I fought some DeathClaws and found some junk.  Perhaps this is what Miles from Adytum needs to repair the farms.

I returned the parts to Miles.  The ungrateful twerp wanted me to clean them.  What an ingrate.  I had Smitty clean them and Miles offered to upgrade my armor when I got some power armor.

I spend the next couple of days fighting DeathClaws for EXPERIENCE.  I would kill a few and then wait a hour and kill some more.  I finally got tired and killed the Mama.

May 3rd, 2162

I told Gabriel of the GunRunners I killed the DeathClaws.  I told him: "I want ammo and lots of it."  I then got everything from the lockers. I then left came back and he asked me, "What do you want?"  I told him about some friends of mine that need help." He said he would send some help.  Cool!  I got both rewards...  I guess he forgot I came already.

I went to the Blade's leader and she wanted me to help take out the Regulators.  We took them out faster than it takes an Molerat to fry at the GLOW.

Smitty modified my plasma gun.  It now shoots faster.  When he was finished I found myself without armor.  I was practically naked. Gee, what did I have to do for that service?

I then went to the Blade's hangout and the guard trained me in hand to hand combat.

May 4th, 2162

I sold all my extra stuff to Jacob the Gun Dealer.  I then talked to Harold the Mutant.  He told me about a mutant army on the warpath.  I left and went into the building north of Harold.  I got attack by two goons.  I rescued a battered man.  He mumbled something about his brother Steel.

May 5 - 9th, 2162

I spent 4 lovely days stealing from Ms. Stapleton and reading books.  I would sell her my Modified Plasma Gun and then steal it back. "Hey pssst, you wanna buy another gun?" "Sure, someone just stole the one you sold me two seconds ago!"

May 14th, 2162

I left on a caravan run to the BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL.

May 21st, 2162

I arrived at the BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL and got a quest to visit the GLOW.  Why am I dreading this?

June 8th, 2162

I arrived at the GLOW and I noticed I had problems eating.  I soon realized it was due to my teeth falling out.  I should have taken some Rad-Away and Rad-X.

I used a rope on the beam and lowered myself into the crater. I found lots of nice stuff. Armor, cards to deactivate force fields, weapons, books and a sentient computer named Zox.  I spoke with the computer and learned about FEV (Forced Evolutionary Virus).  It seemed the Ancients were experimenting with this and it caused a lot of problems.  I was finally able to explore the entire complex after turning on the power.

June 17th, 2162

I stopped by the GunRunners to sell my spoils of war.

June 24th, 2162

Yeah, I'm an initiate of the Brotherhood of Steel.  I found a doctor inside who did enhancement surgery.  I got Stronger, Healthier, Smarter, Faster and more Perceptive.  It cost me mucho bottle caps but it was worth it.

I got some power armor.  I had to get a part to fix it but it was worth it.  I now have a quest to scout the northern area for mutants.

September 20th, 2162

I met Bob of Bob's Used Cars.  I think he's a bit insane.  He wanted to sell me some old rusted lemons... At least I got a Red Ryder BB Gun from his shack.  I always wanted one for Christmas.  I hope I don't shoot my eye out.

October 4th, 2162

I got attacked by a Mutant scout party.  Ian was killed... I will miss him greatly.  He was a great pack mule.  Katja and I sprayed his body with bullets in "thanks" for all the bullets he's given us.

October 7th, 2162

I arrived at the Mutant Military Base.  Katja died and Dogmeat walked into a force field and died. "No!  Dogmeat Stay!  STAY!  NO...  Bzzzzttttt!!!"  "Whoof!!!"  "Yike!  Yike!  Yike!"  Dog Gone it.


I went back to the BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL and convinced the elders of the attack.  I was told two Paladins would help me.

October 21st, 2162

I found the paladins waiting for me at the base smoking cigarettes. Too bad I had already taken care of the Mutant guards earlier.  They didn't even follow me inside.  B.O.S. my foot... more like S.O.B.  I'm leaving.


Arrived at the Cathedral. Decided to release my frustrations by killing lots of people.  "Yeah I'll take a flower!"  "Now you take a bullet!"  I killed someone named Morpheus.  I wonder if he was important.

November 4th, 2162

I arrived in the Hub and told Fargo Traders about the missing caravans. The boss was so confused he didn't even give me my reward.

November 10th, 2162

I arrived in Adytum and asked Miles to upgrade my armor.  I had to go visit Ms. Stapleton in the Hub and get a Chemistry book.

November 17th, 2162

Hey what's going on, I had to strip for Miles.  Pervert!  Why am I undressed every time I get something done?  At least I have some Hardened Power Armor.

January 5th, 2162

Went back into the Military base, hacked the computer and blew up the place.  Yeah... I'm done.


Damn Overseer... He's convinced the Master is around.  Now I'll have to hunt him down.  The Master, not the Overseer.  Maybe he's at the Cathedral...

February 14th, 2162

I freed Tandi from the Raiders.  Just another good deed. I asked her, "Can you and I like, you know get together?"  She got really upset. Seems she only likes guys.  Funny, I thought with that haircut, she had to be, you know... that way.


I arrived at the Cathedral and found a secret passage behind a bookcase. Well, not so secret anymore... There's a Vault here.  Took out some SuperMutants and found the Master on Level 3.  Killed him.  Now off to Vault 13 to bask in the glory...


I got thrown out of the Vault because I would be a bad influence on the children.  Fine... throw me out...  I'll be back...  and when I do...  mumble mumble mumble...

Well Diary that's it.  I now spend my time teaching other adventurers about the Wastelands.

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* Killian is voiced by Richard Dean Anderson, AKA TV's McGuyver. The McGuyver character was able to make anything out of useless junk. "Let's see... a pair of bi-focals, a flashlight and a diamond... bingo... instant gattling laser gun."